Interdimensional Misadventures
by vacant houses
Summary: It was the strangest alien Master Chief has ever had the misfortune to meet. Then things got weirder. (In which Michelangelo is an avid fanboy with a transdimensional portal stick and the Chief just wishes he could forget this entire thing...)


TMNT and Halo are not mine.

Written because Michelangelo plays a rip-off of Halo in the season that everyone likes to pretend never happened, aka Fast Forward. This is set post Halo 3...at the very least. The chronology isn't really all the important.

On another note, I've delved only briefly into the Halo fandom and I have only been able to find very few good Master Chief fics. Anyone got any recs?

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Interdimensional Misadventures

It was a fairly usual day for one Master Chief Petty Officer John-117 and his AI companion as they battled their way through hoards of alien forces on a Forerunner ring. A colorful trail of blue and purple blood marked their passage and the every rising number of Covenant fatalities. Today, like most other days, it was a good day to be the Chief and not one of his enemies, no matter how infinite their numbers might be.

As the Chief ducked an Elite's energy sword, sticking the unfortunate alien with a plasma grenade and then decimating the accompanying grunt squad with his battle rifle, there was a brilliant flash of light several meters to his left. The Chief finished the last of the grunts off, quickly reloaded then trained his weapon on the new disturbance.

"Okay," Cortana murmured inside his helmet. "That's…new."

It was definitely alien, Master Chief decided on his first glance. An undiscovered Covenant species or perhaps a remnant from the Forerunner's time, he wasn't sure. Despite its green skin, he dismissed the idea of it being a new Flood life-form; it lacked the bulging, rotten-flesh look. The alien was humanoid and very muscular, with strange natural armor on its front and back. Aside from that, its body was completely unprotected, lacking any form of Covenant shielding or armor. It did have some fabric wrapped around its head, a bright orange cloth with eye-holes cut into it from which blank white eyes stared out at the Chief.

Master Chief raised his gun and pointed it straight at the alien's head.

"Don't shoot!" it cried clearly in English, raising its hands into the air in surrender. "I-uh, I'm not your enemy!"

Inside his helmet, the Chief narrowed his eyes in suspicion. Right. If anything that tightened his grip on the trigger as he quickly scanned the area in case this was a trap. No enemies, nope. Just lots of dead Covenant and this strange alien that had surrendered to him.

"Chief," Cortana began hesitantly. "Look at it. Look at what its holding."

The Spartan swept his eyes over his captive again, this time paying more attention to the details. Tucked away in its belt and in one of the alien's hand, it appeared to be carrying…nun-chucks? The Chief recognized the ancient weapon from his training back on Reach but could not comprehend how the alien had come to possess it. In the creature's other hand, it held what seemed like a very old fashioned human flashlight.

The Chief finally acknowledged that this encounter was officially weird.

His mind automatically began to catalogue and calculate combat possibilities. The lack of other weaponry told him he was dealing with a melee fighter, a very skilled one to be able to use the nun-chucks. Assuming, of course, the creature actually knew how to use them and this was not, in fact, some new Covenant tactic that involved bewildering the hell out of the Chief. Given how muscular the creature was and the numerous scars adorning its body, he decided that it was extremely unlikely and returned to his initial hypothesis that he was facing an alien warrior trained in a particular human martial art, however unlikely that might be. The Chief, with his battle rifle, pistol and grenades, was at an advantage.

However…his mind stalled over the flashlight. What was its purpose? Maybe it was a ranged weapon, some sort of light-based…canon? Rifle? He would keep an eye on it and shoot the alien the moment it tried anything with it.

"Um, are you, are you going to shoot me?" the alien asked meekly. "Or are you just going to keep staring? Cause, I got to tell you, the staring with the gun pointed at my head is kinda scary. And intimidating. And I've surrendered and everything and would really prefer that you didn't shoot me."

"It's English is flawless," Cortana marveled. "It sounds…American. 21st Century. New York."

"What are you?" Master Chief finally spoke, lowering his weapon slightly so it was no longer pointing at the alien's head. The alien gave a sigh of relief then squeaked as the battle rifle was instead aimed at its chest. Which was where the Spartan was assuming its heart was located.

"So not cool," the alien grumbled then straightened as the gun was directed briefly at his head again in warning before lowering again. "Okay, okay, seriously dude, chill. My name's Michelangelo and I am a mutant turtle."

The Spartan and his companion were silent for a moment. "Mutant turtle, huh?" Cortana said at last. "I can sorta see that. The name, well _that_ I don't get."

The Chief ignored her and focused on the turtle. "What are you doing here?" he asked suspiciously. "Are you an experiment leftover from the Forerunners?"

Michelangelo looked positively thrilled at that. "Oh man, that would be so cool," he enthused. Then he deflated when the Chief minutely adjusted his aim. "No, no, this is the bit where things get a liiiitle bit tricky and complicated. And unbelievable."

"You have five seconds before I shoot," the Chief warned.

"I'm from another dimension," the turtle said quickly. "Seriously. This flashlight? It's an transdimensional portal stick."

"…Right," the Spartan said flatly, as Cortana snorted with disbelief inside his helmet. Maybe this was a Covenant tactic to confuse the hell out of him and the worrying thing about it was that it was actually working.

This needed to be rectified.

Immediately.

The Master Chief raised his gun again and pulled the trigger.

x x x

There were few times in Master Chief's life that he'd managed to miss a target only a few feet away from him. A majority of those odd occurrences had been in basic training and the most intensive of battles.

This was no such a situation.

But it was one of those rare instances all the same.

The alien-turtle-creature-thing had somehow managed a flip to the side and then dove for cover behind a large rock without a single bullet hitting him. "Stop, stop, stop!" he yelled. "I haven't done anything! Seriously dude, why are you shooting at me?"

"He does have a point," Cortana observed. "He hasn't made a hostile move and been remarkably unaggressive towards you. That's not like the Covenant at all. He's just delusional and crazy. Which is like the Covenant."

"You've been to giant rings that wipe out all sentient life in the universe, blown some of them up and you think that interdimensional travel is all that out there?" Michelangelo demanded over the hail of bullets.

The Master Chief paused for a moment, then lowered his weapon. "And how would you know that if you did come from another dimension?"

"Uh. Um. Would you believe that there's an entire franchise about you in my dimension?"

"…No." the Chief did not even need to think about it, there was no way that this was true. He had a sinking feeling about what was to come.

"He has got to be joking," Cortana muttered.

"Yeah, I didn't think so either. Still…" Mikey pondered briefly. "What if I gave you proof?"

Reluctantly, the AI and the Spartan listened as the turtle detailed the highly confidential secrets of the Spartan program, the events on the First Halo ring, then Reach and the other Sparatan survivors, then back to Installation Five and the Gravemind. . As this point, the Chief interrupted.

"Enough," he said shortly.

Michelangelo fell silent for a moment, then timidly asked, "So, you _do_ believe me, right?"

"At the moment, without any other evidence to the contrary, I will accept your explanation," the Spartan said grudgingly. Michelangelo perked at that and cautiously stepped away from his cover. The wealth of knowledge the mutant had was in far greater detail than what had been reported to ONI and the UNSC and he'd included encounters the Covenant had no idea about. This couldn't be the result of a security breach or an elaborate trap laid by the Covenant. That there was truth to Michelangelo's words held disturbing implications that he would worry about later.

But still…there was a question he needed answered.

"_Why _are you here?" Master Chief demanded.

The mutant turtle gave him a stunning smile. "Dude, you are amazing! You have no idea-wait, maybe you do know- but you are like, the coolest! You're my favourite video game character, I've played all the games _and_ read all the novels and-"

"You're a fan," the Spartan sighed in conclusion and finally gave into the despair that had arisen at the mention of 'franchise.'

Michelangelo gazed at him in total hero worship, a look that the Chief had seen many times in UNSC marines as he rescued them. The turtle reached into his belt and pulled a pen and a picture of the Spartan from…somewhere. There was no way he could have concealed the items in the belt but they hadn't been there a second ago. "Can I get your autograph?"

"NO."

x x x

The Spartan and Cortana watched the rest of the video clip play out. Michelangelo had accompanied them for a little while as he continued to beg for the Chief's autograph and had actually provided some help in taking out Covenant forces. Eventually, he relented, activated the transdimensional portal stick and then vanished.

With the unsettling promise that he would be back.

"So," Cortana sighed at last. "It wasn't a hallucination. Your fanbase extends across dimensions apparently. Why am I not surprised?"

Master Chief grunted in annoyance. "Not one word to anyone. Ever."

END


End file.
